The G-Chat Dispatch

You ever find yourself g-chatting* with a master?

You know what I’m talking about; you find yourself in a chat with someone who is really good at chatting; you just know that he or she cut their teeth on AOL Instant Messenger in school and has been honing those skills  – like Rocky, running up the stairs – by texting, ever since he or she got their first phone. I’m talking about someone who has a firm grip on grammar, an internal library of pop culture references and an impeccable sense of comic timing. Someone who combines the skills of typing, spelling and linking into one magical chatting skill set. Someone who is ready for the chatting Olympics, except that there isn’t one.

Sometimes I’m just sad that certain g-chats can’t have an audience. I was sad like that tonight, but then I realized that a chat can, in fact be witnessed by everyone, thanks to the miracle of blogging.

So without further ado, I present to you a new feature that I hope to post every few weeks: The G-Chat Dispatch. The first one is with MFA colleague Kate Gorton of Curses in Cursive. Kate is one of those people who has mastered the English language just so that she can smack it around and make it give her its lunch money. It’s only fitting that she’d kick off this series. Below is a short but sweet chat I had with her this evening.

It was prompted by my away message today: Meeting a very close friend’s baby today. Cue Elton John singing The Circle of Life.

8:04 PM             Kate: does your status mean you’re going to Simba that baby?
                             as in, hold  him/her out over the savannah? cuz…i approve.
                             …as long as all of the zebras and wildebestes bow.
                             me: I was going to do that, but I couldn’t find some guy to
                             sing “Naaaaaaaaaasivegna” or whatever it is.
8:05 PM             Kate: goddamnit. they should be on retainer.
                             me: You know, I’ve Simbaed every cat I’ve ever owned.
                             Kate: pshh, if you don’t, it’s just a waste of a cat.
8:06 PM             me: For serious. And everyone knows that cats loooove that.
                             Kate: it’s only their favorite thing. after baths and crinkly
                             plastic bags
                              me: And oral hygiene.
                             Kate: duhhhh
8:07 PM            okay. this 30 page paper is not going to write itself 🙂 Tty!
                             me: Laters!
*”g-chat” is Google’s chat program, if you’re not chat-savvy.