Writing research, or this week’s list of reasons the NSA is watching me.

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Behold, the dreaded spife!

Last week I posted a list of the items I researched while working on my latest thriller for The Resistance Cycle. This week, I continued to make slow progress on the manuscript, but once again, I needed to know certain … things. For example, can those lettuce knives you see on late night infomercials kill or maim someone?

Here’s this week’s list of questionable internet searches:

So, about those lettuce knives.
According to wisegeek, lettuce knives can deliver “deliver a nasty nick, although it certainly can’t cause mortal damage.” Boo to that.  And there are some hilarious five-star reviews of a plastic knife on Amazon, billing it as a great first knife for a child. Good-bye, possible plot device!

Okay, but can you really hurt someone with a plastic knife? And don’t give me “you can hurt anyone with anything if you really apply yourself.” I’m looking for a lethal plastic knife.
Yes. After reading many pages of Google results, I now know that apparently you can, if you file a plastic knife down. Or if you 3-D print a dangerous knife. But you really need to a) be up a creek and need protection of any kind to do this, b) really want a plastic knife, c) be a destructive, yet crafty sociopath. (Just imagine the Pinterest board.)

Fine. I need this to be easy for my protagonist. What are some dangerous office supplies?
And that’s when I ended up on the Bloomberg’s How to Weaponize Office Supplies infographic and lost 10 minutes of writing time laughing.

Okay, but seriously, guys.
Scissors, idiot, says the Internet. But this is not really what my character needs, so I’m not satisfied with this. Looks like it’s time for a field trip. If you need me this weekend I will wandering around Staples, taking notes.

The spife photo is by XenoL-Type at en.wikipedia (Transferred from en.wikipedia) [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons.

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4 thoughts on “Writing research, or this week’s list of reasons the NSA is watching me.

  1. Ha! My internet searching would get me in all kinds of trouble. I’m just such a curious kid! I wonder a lot, so I take to Google to learn about the world around me which I know nothing of.

    That being said, if I ever go missing or anyone else near me does, don’t let the police base their case off my internet search. It was all me! I’m curious! I did the searching naively and in a curious spirit!!

    Maybe I’ve been watching too much Forensic Files.

    • I hear you. You ever go to Wikipedia for ONE little thing and then fall down the black Wikipedia hole for an hour? I do. And then I come to on a page about female serial killers in the Old West or something ridiculous. I’ve filled my head so full of that stuff that I can no longer remember my fifth birthday.

  2. Pingback: Lesbian Vampires and the NSA… | Divertir Publishing

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